Standing Up for Your Convictions and Beliefs-Asset 28

Standing Up for Your Convictions and Beliefs

Continuing on the theme of “Positive Values Assets,” this week’s developmental asset focuses on the power of a child’s family valuing integrity. When a family values integrity, the parents and other adults set an important example by standing up for their beliefs and acting on their convictions. When this happens, the children grow up to be people who also stand by their beliefs. Knowing what you stand for is particularly preventative in the sense suggested by the old saying, “If you don’t know what you stand for, you will fall for anything.”

In considering and investing in this asset for your children, it is important to know that the concept of integrity it typically not fully understood until a child is around the ages of 7 or 8. Nevertheless, it’s important to model and teach values like honesty and a sense of right and wrong beginning early in your child’s life.

For instance, when making promises, it is important that you come through for your child in a reasonable amount of time. This goes a long way towards establishing trust, and the value that a person’s word is a bond, an important commitment. If you can’t honor your promise, be sure to always explain the reasons why, share you own disappointment around it and apologize sincerely for having to break your promise.

Another important thing in teaching integrity is to look at how you react when others don’t respect your principles, values and beliefs. Ask yourself, “I am behaving in a way that I want my child to learn?” If not, think about and come up with some new ways to stand up for yourself and your convictions.

With other adults, it’s important that you talk about what you believe and value. Make a vow to do the right thing and to act on what you believe. Talking about values with other adults will make it easier to discuss values with your children.

Also, be true to yourself by getting in touch with who you are. For example, if you enjoy quiet time, make time in your life each day for solitude. Create a lifestyle that genuinely fits you. Teach your children to do the same. This kind of personal honesty and understanding is the foundation for integrity in one’s life.

A few other things you can do to teach integrity include teaching children about people who model integrity and how they did it. People like Helen Keller, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, or Abraham Lincoln are good examples of this. You can also be direct in letting your children know what’s right and wrong when they do something inappropriate. For instance, if a child slams a door out of anger, you can say, “Its okay to say you are angry at me, but it’s not okay for you to slam the door as a way of telling me.” And always value your child’s feeling and work with them instead of against them. People with integrity work to be in touch with their feelings and act according to their values. Begin to teach these skills early in your child’s life.

For more ideas, feel free to call or email me.