A Positive View of a Personal Future-Asset 40

A Positive View of a Personal Future

For children to have a positive view of their personal future, parents and other adults need to work to create a positive future for themselves and their children. If this happens, children will grow to be inspired to be positive and confident about their future.

Here as some specific suggestions of ways you as a parent can invest in establishing this asset for your children:

• Maintain a positive outlook in general. Expect good things to happen. When disappointments happen, learn from them and share with your children what the lessons and silver linings are. Children learn how to handle setbacks and challenges by watching the adults around them.
• Give children plenty of sincere, positive feedback. When you are supportive, you help them feel successful, build self-esteem and self-confidence. If they need feedback about mistakes or errors, start out your message with, “That is so unlike you. What can we learn from this?”
• Learn about affirmations. Affirmations are a way of complimenting that focus on desirable behaviors. Affirmations are positive, personal and in the present tense. “You are amazing at spelling!” or “You really know how to solve problems!” are two examples of affirmative messages. Affirmations are always free of negative wording. To use a negative word is to focus attention on what you don’t want. “Don’t spill your milk!” is a classic example of a negation that results in just the outcome you wanted to avoid.
• Look for and support ways to help children follow their dreams, interests and passions. Share their excitement about things they enjoy and discover. If a child loves music, fill your home with it. Ask your child to teach you songs and teach him or her songs. Sing along with the radio together, plan musical events and look for ways to provide music lessons and instruments to foster his or her learning.
• There are some children who seem to have a temperament that leads them to see things more negatively or pessimistically. These children are most in need of constant affirmation along with direct education on how thinking positively leads to positive outcomes.
• This next idea may have already come to mind as you read through the above. It is the point that in order for parents and adults to provide some the positive influences needed they too must examine their own outlook on life and the nature of their personal thoughts and attitudes. Parents will need to monitor their own self-talk in order to ensure that they respond to their children with affirmative and empowering messages about the present and the future. There are two books available by Martin E. P. Seligman, PhD. that can be very helpful for parents. The first is Learned Optimism which includes tools to rate yourself and practical ways to increase your optimism. The second is The Optimistic Child which gives step-by-step advice on how to safeguard children from depression while helping them develop optimism and a positive view of the future.

For more ideas on this topic, call or email me. And remember, your child’s future is influenced by the messages you are giving them now!