Competent Planning and Decision Making-Asset 32

Competent Planning and Decision Making

This next series of developmental assets fall under the umbrella of what we call social competencies. The first of these assets is gained by investing in your child’s ability to plan and make decisions in a competent manner. To do so, parents and other adults have to set an intention to teach children how to make appropriate choice and to understand that they are making choices all the time when they decide to do or say something and when they decide not to do or say something. Also, children need to learn that decisions are part of learning to plan ahead and how to problems are solved.

Here are some specific ways to begin teaching these skills to your children:

• Think about your own planning and decision making skills and habits. Build on your strengths and work on your limitations. Model and teach your children how to create “to-do list” and how to use planning calendars.
• When you are making a decision about something yourself, involve your child in the process of making a list of pros and cons around the choices at hand. Let them observe and even participate in the thinking process you use in coming to a decision.
• Look for opportunities to give your children choices and be patient with them as they work through make decisions. Let them consider their options without rushing them to make a choice.
• Children don’t always understand what their choices are. You can help by pointing out their options in the beginning. Then as they begin to grasp the idea of choice, ask them to name the possibilities or options they have. Reward their efforts regardless if they do a flawless job of sorting out options and making a decision.
• Let your children know that most decisions can be reversed if the outcomes are not what they intended and all decisions are opportunities to learn something about their choices. This helps them learn not to fear making a “wrong decision.”
• Don’t let your children become “overwhelmed by the wealth of their options.” If there are too many possibilities, help your child learn how to prioritize the options or to break them down into smaller steps or phases. Also, be involved enough with such a process that you can remind them of things they are not thinking about. For instance, if your child needs to make a choice between going to band camp or on a campout with the boy scouts, there will be a number of considerations involved, such as costs, time of year, benefits to their future goals, your child’s feelings and needs relative to each option, needed supplies, what other events they will miss, which is most likely to be repeated, what the conditions will be like in each setting, and the list can go on and on. Your assistance with making such decisions can be invaluable for your child’s future ability to make complex decisions.

These are only a few ideas which will get your started on the path of investing in this developmental asset. For more ideas relevant to the age of your child, call or email me and I will be happy to share more ways to develop your child’s decision making and planning skills.