Peaceful Conflict Resolution-Part 2-Asset 36

Peaceful Conflict Resolution-Part 2

I wanted to dedicate another article to this most important asset so parents and adults can get more ideas of how to begin to instill the idea of peaceful conflict resolution into the children in their lives.

As I mentioned in detail last time, the first thing to do is to examine your own behavior when dealing with the frustrations of conflict and then educate yourself on ways of resolving conflict that are peaceful and compassionate.

Then its important to recognize that there are things we can do from the time a child is born into our lives to plant the seeds of peaceful ways to resolve conflicts and differences. Some of these are:

• Creating a calm, nurturing and loving environment is important in the lives of children from birth through adolescence. Make sure your children observe and hear adults solve problems in peaceful, mature and rational ways, not with shouting and angry words.
• Children can learn violent behaviors from movies, TV, and video games. Screen and/or keep a close eye on what your children are exposed to. If you are watching something together and there are scenes that are violent or harsh, talk to your child about these and ask them if they can think of better ways to resolve the conflicts observed if they were happening in real life. Offer your own solutions once they have shared their ideas of better ways to handle conflicts. Also, be sure to show sincere approval and appreciation for good ideas and attempts at better ways.
• Aggressiveness can be part of a young child’s nature. If this is the case, help the child explore and learn better, more positive ways to express their feelings. For instance, you could have him or her paint or draw a picture that expresses how they are feeling. Then ask them to discuss the picture and how it depicts what they are feeling. This also creates a great opportunity to teach feeling words if your child is having trouble coming up with the words that truly describe what they are or were feeling.
• Help youngsters learn the skills they will need to avoid being bullies or victims. For example, teach them to say, “No, I don’t want to do that.” And if that doesn’t work, teach them to walk away and get help from an adult.
• Teach children that words and calling names can indeed hurt someone. Ask them to think about and then talk about how it feels when they are called names they don’t like.
• Break up fights if they happen. While it is important to let kids learn to work out disputes on their own, it is still an adult responsibility to make sure they don’t get hurt or seriously injured from physical fights. Teaching basic negotiation skills can go a long ways in helping children to know there are other ways of conflict resolution. Knowing how and when to use simple phrases like, “Let’s talk about this,” “I think you’re right,” or “I’m sorry.”
• Teach kids directly that violence is never a good way to solve problems. Lead them in discussions of how to create a peace plan for dealing with conflicts. Teach them “compassionate communication” as taught by Marshall Rosenberg in “Nonviolent Communication: The Language of Life (www.cnvc.org).

Together we can make a difference and life just goes better when people know how to resolve differences and conflict in peaceful ways. Write or call if you have questions.