Personal Power: A Positive Identity Asset-Asset 37

Personal Power: A Positive Identity Asset

Caring adults can sow the seeds of positive identity as soon as a child enters the world. While children grow, their sense of self needs to be cultivated and nurtured so they can learn who they are and what they can do. Adults around them can challenge, support, and guide children as they move through childhood and are on their way to becoming confident adolescents and adults. The first of the positive identity assets is personal power.

Personal power is related to a person’s ability to make things happen that they want to happen, to have a positive and creative influence on one’s surroundings and be able to meet challenges in a productive way.

Parents who demonstrate positive coping skills as they go about creating important outcomes and show the ability to maintain a sense of personal control in the face of challenges and frustrations are teaching their children healthy ways to deal with life. Parents with personal power also respond to their children so they begin to learn and experience their own ability to influence outcomes in their own life.

Here are some of the ways you as a parent can foster the growth of personal power in your children:
• Teaching personal power begins in infancy by responding to a child’s needs in consistent ways. If you know your baby is hungry, feed him or her. If they let you know they are wet, change them. This consistency and responsiveness begins to teach a child that they can and do influence the world around them.
• As they get older, let children play and do things their own way sometimes. If they enjoy looking at a book backwards and upside down, or want to wash and dry each dish one at a time, don’t interfere. Let them explore and learn some things on their own.
• Children have many different interests and talents. Encouraging and supporting them so they can follow their interests can give them a greater sense of personal power and influence over their life.
• Create boundaries that help children build their own sense of self-control or mastery rather than just follow the commands of adults. Make rules ahead of time so children can begin to work within them. For instance, when children know they are to finish their homework before playing, they are given the power to decide when to do their homework and thus have a sense of control over their ability to have time to play and do their thing too.
• Whenever possible given children choices in terms of what they want to do for things like weekend outings, movies to rent, or simple things like meal preparation. Respect your child’s decisions. If you don’t agree, talk honestly with your child about your concerns.
• Read about or watch movies about people who overcame difficulty situations and/or made their dreams come true. Emphasize the point that people can do great things when they set their mind to it and stick with a goal. Give your child the space they need to follow their own dreams, but also take steps to support and help nurture their efforts.

Again, these are only a few ideas around giving a child personal power. If you have questions or want more information, email or call me. And remember, personal power is the power of responsible choice; a freedom we all should have.