Learning to Make Safe and Wise Choices-Asset 35

Learning to Make Safe and Wise Choices

An investment in this social competency asset requires parents and other adults to model making safe and sane choices and avoiding dangerous situations. This asset also requires parents and other adults to model “resistance skills” in response to peer pressure.

One of the first things I need to mention is that the “Family Values Integrity” asset I wrote about a couple of months back plays an important role in being able to teach the current asset of being able to make wise choices and resistant poor choices. The Family Values Integrity asset basically calls for a person to act on their convictions and stand up for their beliefs. You simply can’t have integrity if you can’t say no and avoid dangerous and risky situations. You will need to promote both of these in your children and in yourself.

Parents and other close adults also need to understand and practice their own resistance skills. Some would call these skills “will power.” When you say you are going on a diet, your child will learn resistance skills if they are able to watch you as you make healthy food choices and stick to your diet. Your children will also learn resistance skills when they are able to observe you making choices not to do unacceptable or dangerous things. Look for these opportunities in your daily life and share your decision making process with your family and children. These opportunities often come into play when we make decisions to stop or break unhealthy habits or excesses. For instance, if you make a decision to only have one cup of coffee instead of three before going to work, let everyone know and then let them hear you make moment-to-moment decisions as you stick to this plan. You might let them hear you say, “Boy I’d really like another cup of coffee but instead I’m going to have a cup of decaf tea now.” Also share with them how good it feels to follow through on your commitments.

As a parent, any time you are coping with a problem can be an opportunity to demonstrate resistance skill and making healthy, safe and wise choices. For example, if you are frustrated about your vehicle not running, you might share your feelings and then making a wise choice. Say, “My truck is giving me fits. Part of me would like to tear it down and sell it for part. But another part of me knows that if I can keep it running another two months, I’ll be able to invest in a new car, so I guess I’ll keep it for now.” If you have your own challenges coping with problems, bad habits or addictions, get help and be open about it. Make it your responsibility to improve your lifestyle and skills so you are a positive role model for your children.

Make the next step in your education for the profession of parenthood that of learning more about teaching your children resistance skills. David Wilmes’ book Helping Kids Learn Refusal Skills is an excellent place to start.

If you want more information about this asset, please call or email me. Always know that its not so much what you say as it is what you do that influences the lives of children.