Youth Need to Feel Valued by the Community-Asset 7

Youth Need to Feel Valued by the Community

This asset is the first of what we call “the empowerment assets.” To feel safe and empowered, youth need to know that their parents and other adults in the community value and appreciate them.

One of the surest ways to invest in this asset for your children and the children in your community is to spend time with them. Read to them, take walks with them, attend their events, show interest in their interests, plan games with them and plan creative activities with them. In any way possible, show them that you think they are important and worth your time and attention.

Other opportunities to show children that you value them come when you encounter them in the community. For instance, if a child or group of children is about to cross a street, stop for them and let them cross in front of you. Be sure to smile at them and wave back if they acknowledge your kindness. If you run into a neighborhood child in a store or in their yard working, take a moment to strike up a conversation and ask about school, sports or other interests they may have. You might also hire children to help around your house or yard, or to walk your dog, or to water plants while you away from home. Showing a child that you trust them also tells them that you value them and their integrity.

Regardless of age, respond whenever a child attempts to communicate with you. Even infants and toddlers feel valued when we show interest and give attention to their verbal expressions. Empathize with children and tune into, not only what they say, but also to what they are feeling. When you sense what they are feeling, reflect those feelings back to them. This lets them know they are really being heard and also teaches them appropriate words to go with their feelings. For example, if a child were to say to you, “Bobby took my toy and won’t give it back!” You might respond by say, “You are upset and frustrated because Bobby took your truck. We all feel a little sad and helpless when we can’t get people to act the way we want them to. Maybe we can talk to Bobby together to see if you can both share.”

Another idea for showing an older child that you value them is to give them control of some part of each day. Discuss and agree on a time during which the child may choose to do what they would like to do. In general, ask children their opinions on various things in life, like a news story or a community issue. If they offer an opinion, look for the merits in their ideas and let them know you value their idea. If their idea isn’t sound in your eyes, don’t discount them. Instead, thank them for their opinion and let them know you will think more about it.

I hope the above ideas help you to be more empowering to children in your life. If you have questions, call or email me.