Appropriate Expectations for Growth-Asset 16

Appropriate Expectations for Personal Growth

Parents and other adults would want to invest in this developmental asset for children have realistic expectations for the growth and development of the child and don’t push beyond the child’s own pace. Adults support and encourage children to do their best and to develop their gifts and talents.

To a large extent, this asset is gained by parents and other close adults learning and understanding developmental stages and milestones that have been determined by psychologist and early childhood development specialists. It is important, whether or not you know about normal developmental stages, to allow children to develop at their own pace. Individual differences are great in the early years of life. Be patient and let children do things when they’re ready. Talk to the experts (your pediatrician, an elementary or early childhood teacher) if you feel your child is developing at a different rate than other children with whom you are familiar.

Remind yourself that a child is a whole person, with strengths and weaknesses. Don’t label a child based on perceived weaknesses or limitations. For instance, if your child doesn’t start to talk when you expect him or her to do so, don’t label them “slow.” If your child stutters, never call them a stutterer. On the other hand, do consult with a specialist or your pediatrician for advice on who to go to and how to handle the situation.

Always pay attention to what children like and/or express interest in. Following and supporting these interests helps them grow in the directions that they are inclined towards by their very nature. Give them plenty of opportunities to experience and explore new and different things.

Parents should also be aware that routines and daily rituals help children to feel safe, protected and free to explore. Children who aren’t worried about when they’ll eat or sleep can concentrate on learning new skills and activities. Also, mastering a new skill can take time, so be patient and understand that setbacks do happen and are part of the normal process of mastering any skill. Use setbacks as opportunities to teach the child that there are lessons to be learned by these experiences that can aid them in the eventual mastery of the skill. Teach them that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback and outcomes that will aid their next attempts. These times can also be valuable opportunities to ask the child to compare where they are today in the growth process as compared to where they were when they first started to learn the skill they are working on.

Also, as is almost always the case, children can learn about setting appropriate expectations for growth by you modeling this behavior yourself. Let your child know about a goal or dream you are striving for and then let them in on your experiences in achieving the goal.

Any questions? Feel free to let me know via email or phone. Remember aiming high is the best way to get where you want to be!