Neighborhood Boundaries-Asset 13

Neighborhood Boundaries and Expectations

Neighborhood boundaries and behavioral expectations are an asset to a child when neighborhood parents and adults have permission to, feel responsible for, pay attention to, and supervise children outside their home.

To invest in this asset, parents and adults need to focus on building or strengthening another asset we covered a while back. That asset in realized when we have created a caring neighborhood where children experience being cared for and known by everyone in the neighborhood and the adults have publically committed themselves and agreed to cooperate with this intention. With a caring neighborhood in place, boundaries and behavioral expectations for our children make more sense and are more effective.

To establish these boundaries and expectations, parents and adults need first to look to their own behavior and intentionally seek to behave in ways that model the types of behaviors that are expected and accepted in the neighborhood. In addition, parents and adults should actively look for opportunities to directly teach and explain to children how to behave appropriately.

It is also important as part of this effort to acknowledge that each child in the neighborhood is unique and worthy of caring and support. Comparing children based on their behavior should be avoided. In addition, boundaries and expectations should be discussed by adults and children with the intention of developing a list of rules and limits that can be distributed throughout the neighborhood. While everyone may not agree, it is important to develop a way to discuss and resolve different opinions. Some neighborhoods have quarterly meetings for this purpose at times that are convenient for parents to gather. Trained mediators are often available in communities to help facilitate such meetings on a volunteer basis.

Other communities have involved their mayor or city commissioners in a process where a set of values and community norms were established and publicized through local news media and a campaign to promote commonly accepted boundaries and behavioral expectations. Local law enforcement officers were also invited to participate in such campaigns and in neighborhood meetings. These officers were able to communicate the importance of neighbors being willing to accept responsibility for keeping an eye out for each other and communicating about what they are observing.

Some neighborhoods create places and opportunities for parents and their children to gather and spend safe and happy time together. This could be through a church, community center or in someone’s home or yard. These situations offers opportunities for children to get the message that the neighbors care and have permission to interact with and intervene if inappropriate behavior is observed in the neighborhood when their parents are not around.

As usual, these are only a few ideas of how the asset of neighborhood boundaries and expectations can enhance the lives of each of us and our children. Be creative and take action in ways that work in your neighborhood.

Any thoughts or questions, please feel free to call or email me.