Adult Role Models-Asset 14

Adult Role Models

Children learn how to act and interact with others by watching, imitating and modeling their parents, caregivers and other adults. Adults need to be conscious that they are setting examples for children and make sure they are setting a good example. Modeling is much more powerful in determining the behavior of children than attempts to teach using words.

Parents who are positive role models lead positive lives and have positive outlooks. Such parents have a sense of purpose and are able to make personal goals and dreams become reality. Parents who don’t feel they meet this description in their approach to life need to begin to work towards developing their own self-esteem and the skills needed to set realistic goals and then achieve them. Parents who model a sense of purpose are also investing one of the developmental assets for their children, namely “Sense of Purpose in Children,” which we covered in this column some time ago. If you email me, I will send you a copy of that article.

Nurture the relationships children already have with extended family members, teachers, ministers, friends and neighbors who are solid and positive role models. Let these people know how much you value them and appreciate the role modeling they do.

Also, support your child’s interests in positive role models from the world of sports, music, movies or television. Talk to your children about what you like about these people and how they live their lives. If you are watching a movie or television show, talk to your children about the characters you see. Point out positive behaviors and choices on the part of the characters in the show. Also ask questions like, “Do you think that person did the right thing? What would you choose to do if you were in that situation?” Have conversations like this frequently.

If your child wants to dress like a person they look up to, support this interest since it is a sign that they are forming a positive identity based on the positive people they admire. Talk to your child about positive role models you had as a child and what you liked about them. As your child about traits they like in other people. Remind them that if they admire something about someone it is an indication that they too have potential to develop and be like that person. Do what you can to give your child access to diversity when it comes to role models. Create opportunities for them to interact with young, old, rich, poor, single, married, silly or serious people.

Encourage your child to make bulletin boards, posters or scrapbooks about their favorite heroes. Together, visit the library and read about and research the lives of admired people in history and society. Engage in discussions about what you learn.

Even though children may display interest in movie, sports or music stars, it’s important for you to know that the real and important role models in their lives are you and the people around them. Help your child meet adults who are great and decent people who act like role models worth following!

If you any questions or want to offer any feedback or opinions, please call or email me.