Family Support-Asset 1-Part 1

Asset 1:

Family Life Provides High Levels of Love and Support

One of the most important of the developmental assets is family support. Children need love, comfort, encouragement and support from their families. This in turn requires that parents are consistent and positive when responding to their children’s needs. Often the community can help ensure that all children get family support by being available to help support the parents and the children in a family. Communities (and each person in the community) can do this by learning the names of children, greeting them by name and saying hello; by smiling at children and their parents to show support; and by getting close to children when spending time with them. You do this by squatting, kneeling or sitting on the floor with younger children and by maintaining eye contact and asking friendly questions of older children to show your interest in and concern for them.

The community can also support parents by showing interest and excitement when a child is born. Giving gifts and sending cards to celebrate is very important. Offering to hold and/or feed an infant and talk to them while giving the parent a brief break is a great gesture. Also, offering to run errands or baby sitting can demonstrate the kind of kindness and support a family needs.

Some things parents can do to express support for your children is to freely offer praise and acknowledgment when your child learns new skills or behaves kindly or follows family rules and guidelines. Also, your child’s excitement about things they find interesting or funny or run. Play games with them and generally join them in the things they like to do. Let them teach you things you don’t know how to do or games you’ve never played before. Be flexible and willing to join in with their imaginary games and pastimes. This gives the message that you respect and support their imagination, a tool that is extremely important to their success and creativity later in life. Also, be on the look out for activities and interests that you can introduce your child to. This expands their possibilities and lets them know and experience new and different things. This too is good training for future expansion of their horizons.

For all children, through adolescence, try to arrange times when the family is all together, whether it is the dinner meal, a weekly movie, a family outing or church activities. Express your love frequently and in different ways. Hugs and pats on the back, saying “I love you”, giving unconditional gifts, offering quality time to each child are all ways to express love and support. Also, it is important to teach and support your child in knowing he or she can ask for what they need; and that you will respect the request and try to honor it if it is reasonable and possible. Showing an effort and even a struggle to deal with the request is often more important than making it come true.

There is more that can be said about this developmental asset and I plan to do so in a future article. As usual, if you have any questions about this asset or any others, please contact me at 406-442-1374 or email me at wmichael@rmdc.net.