Positive Family Communications-Asset 2

Positive Family Communications

Communication takes place within families all the time, whether through words, gestures, body language, facial expressions or just grunts and giggles. The key to this developmental asset for the well-being of your children is that the communication be positive. Positive communication shows respect, kindness and compassion in the way it gets expressed. Positive communications also means a ready willingness to listen, hear, feel and respond to what your children are communicating to you. Positive communications should start from infancy and continue all the way into adulthood within the family. Parents, be aware also that you are teaching and reinforcing these skills through the way you model positive communications in your relationships with your spouse, friends, neighbors and extended family members.

For all children it is important that you look at them when you are speaking to them. Eye contact alone communicates caring. When your child is upset, be sympathetic and empathetic. Ask them to tell you what’s wrong. Tune into his or her feelings and reflect back to them what you feel. For instance, if your child is tearful, you might say, “You seem to be sad. Do you want to tell me about it?” By empathizing and labeling the emotion you feel, you are also teaching your child feeling words to go with their emotional experience. If they are able to tell you what is wrong, do what you can to follow through and help them solve their problem. Perhaps all they need is some support and encouragement. This can be done in words or through a hug or pat on the back.

Positive communication is also important when things are going well. If your child has done something well at home or at school, be sure to let show them and tell them how proud you are of them and say complimentary things to them, such as, “You are brilliant. You did that really well. I am so proud of you. That was a great effort. You learn more each day. You are going to go place in life!”

In general, look for opportunities to do fun things with your child. Play with them and make them laugh. Having fun with your child shows them that you enjoy their company and like to be with them. Think about what a powerful message that is! Also, look for opportunities to engage your son or daughter in conversation. Dinner time is a traditional time for conversation with kids of all ages. Bed time is good for younger children. Make it a bedtime ritual to ask you child what they liked best about the day or what they would like to dream about that night. You can also ask if they have any questions they’d like to ask you. Generally, make a point to communicate to your children that they can ask any question and that you will do you best to answer them or find an answer for them. Whatever you do, keep the doors to communication open and focus on keeping it positive.